To put it simply, in Mandarin speaking, he/she/him/her are all the same sound TA [tā]. We don’t need to bother changing a pronoun if we speak about different genders in Mandarin, so when we speak English, we often mix up he or she, or him or her when we need to refer to someone’s gender. In Mandarin, if we want to know the gender, we will ask the speaker if TA [tā] is a boy or girl, or a man or woman. That is why we constantly make this kind of mistake when we speak English.
On the other hand, in Mandarin writing, he/him and she/her are different words (different radicals), so we wouldn’t have as much trouble writing them in English as we speak about them in English.
How to use the correct pronoun without thinking?
For me, there is no other way more helpful than practicing talking about a story involving men/women, such as:
- Things you watched:
For instance, any shows or dramas, and make a simple sentence or summary of it.
Examples (about Gilmore Girls):
- Logan told Rory that he loves her and he wants to get her back.
- Luke threw a party for his daughter but it didn’t go very well, so he called Lorelai for her help.
- Things about your friends:
- DD loves to travel and he is going to Tokyo this year. This will be his first trip after the pandemic.
- Summer is the coolest hairstylist I’ve ever known. She has great hair-cutting skills as well as great communication skills. Her customers love to share their lives with her.
I find it useful to remind myself all the time who (a boy or girl, a man or woman) I’m talking about. Although it is still not easy to get my head to say the correct pronoun immediately by default, practicing it does help reduce my time thinking and lower the listener’s confusion.
