Comparing others and comparing with others
Last year, I randomly came across videos on YouTube made by a foreign English-teaching YouTuber, whose main viewers are Chinese, commenting on the English skills of several Asian artists, either singers or actors/actresses, through any of their English interviews.
Out of curiosity, I clicked on one of the videos titled “How well can XXX (a singer) speak English?” In the video, the host gave comments on the singer’s English sentence by sentence, praised grammar or pronunciation, and corrected errors if there were any. For sure, they made this type of video based on their viewers’ requests. You can see a bunch of viewers’ requests in the comments, “Can you also comment on XXX’s English in the next video?” or “What do you think of XXX’s English?”
Despite being a creative way to inspire viewers’ interest in learning English, I was wondering, “Why are those viewers so curious about others’ level of English? Aren’t we all non-natives learning English?”
This comparing mind about dying to know others’ English level has been there for no-one-knows how long. You would compare yourself with others, or you could be the one that another secretly compares with, or you could be the subject of people’s comparison talk. As a subject in comparison, you could be praised for your grammar, fluency, or your accent; however, in the worst-case scenario, you could be laughed at for your grammar, fluency, or even your accent by another fellow learner. How weird is that?
I guess I have to blame this again on our educational system which puts too much emphasis on getting good grades and higher rankings. Students learn more about competing with other fellow students than sharing and practicing together. Day by day, we unconsciously adopt this comparing mind.
From my own experience, the immediate reactions to comparing with others often include but are not limited to a lack of confidence, lower self-esteem, and jealousy. It makes you think that you are never good enough, very much like how you would feel after seeing too many perfect and pretty photos of others on social media. However, it does not have to be this way.
As a human being, I know by nature that we will never be able to stop our comparison mind. However, instead of getting attacked and upset by it, I believe we can benefit from it simply by raising our self-awareness about our own mentality and getting it another way around, that is, thinking positively and getting encouraged by it.
Focus on Yourself
This goes back to the beginning of this blog – Developing a Growth Mindset. A single belief can destroy your confidence or thrive your life. Learn to keep calm and make wise choices when you compare yourself with others by default. If a fellow learner speaks English better than you, see him/her as a role model whom you can learn and grow with. The most important part is, focus on yourself. Stay aware of your mindset and redirect the focus back to your ability.
It sounds somewhat spiritual or some sort of chicken soup for the soul, but it works! Rather than getting upset about any disturbance caused by comparing, learn to benefit from it and the whole learning journey will become more fun and lighter.
